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365 Reasons to Smile – Day 31

cornDuring the summer, I do most of my bike riding in the early morning hours as the sun is ascending into the sky.

Because of that, there are times when the areas I pass through are still fairly dark.

The corn fields look like a jumble of unorganized stalks in which I could easily be lost.

And the groves of trees looks unwelcoming.

cornfield sideAnd then I ride a little farther or a little higher and everything looks different.

Instead of seeing crowded stalks of corn, I see a field neat and well-organized rows.

And instead of seeing the sun barely peeking through the trees, I see rays of sunshine warming the woods and warming my thoughts.

These tiny changes in perspective reflect the importance of perspective in our lives as well.

When we change our perspective, we often get a better understanding of how, life is basically really, really good.a little sun

Just knowing that always makes me smile.

Day 31:  Perspectivesun in trees

Day 30:  Unlikely Friendships 

Day 29: Good Samaritans

Day 28:  Am I a Man or Am I a Muppet?    Day 27: Shadows

Day 26: Bike Riding on Country Roads

Day 25: When Harry Met Sally

Day 24:  Hibiscus   Day 23: The Ice Cream Truck

Day 22:  The Wonderful World of Disney   Day 21: Puppy love

Day 20 Personal Theme Songs     Day 19:  Summer Clouds

Day 18: Bartholomew Cubbin’s Victory

Day 17:  A Royal Birth        Day 16:  Creative Kids

Day 15: The Scent of Honeysuckle   Day 14: Clip of Kevin Kline Exploring His Masculinity

Day 13: Random Text Messages from My Daughter     Day 12:  Round Bales of Hay

Day 11:  Water Fountains for Dogs    Day 10: The Rainier Beer Motorcycle Commercial

Day 9: Four-Leaf Clovers  Day 8: Great Teachers We Still Remember

Day  7:  Finding the missing sock   Day 6:  Children’s books that teach life-long lessons

Day 5: The Perfect Photo at the Perfect Moment     Day 4:  Jumping in Puddles  

Day 3: The Ride Downhill after the Struggle Uphill    Day 2: Old Photographs

Day 1: The Martians on Sesame Street

Picking My Battles Part 2: Validation, Lessons Learned and Being a Role Model

how you teachYesterday evening, I walked my dog through a section of the public park near my house. Children screamed with joy as they chased each other and played on playground equipment. Youth shot basketballs as parents watched from benches, and individuals waded in the creek. A young man with an accent rested his bike against the pavilion and joked with me about my dog.

And I smiled.

Had I not followed my gut and taken a risk of making a lot of people mad at me, none of those individuals would have had the opportunity to enjoy their evening in the same way. They would have been prevented from entering that part of the park by caution tape and overly eager volunteers.

But because I instinctively knew that no one had a right to prevent the public from enjoying that space, these people enjoyed a beautiful Friday evening.

But they didn’t enjoy it without a price – a price I paid.

There’s no need to recap my story of the Boy Scouts telling me I couldn’t walk in a public park since I’ve already written about that (see blog here). But if anyone is interested in the epilogue to the story, here’s a condensed version:

After being told by a staff person with our local parks and recreation office that the Boy Scouts had not received permission to section off and prevent others from entering that area of the park, I once again attempted to take my dog for his usual evening walk. And I was once again confronted and told I wasn’t allowed. After basically being accused of being a liar, I walked through the marked off section of the park anyway. And (shocker), I didn’t bother anyone or provoke any tragedy. In fact, the only tragedy that occurred that evening was all of the people who were once again chased away.

I later ran into the director of Parks and Recreation who apologized and reinforced that the group had not been given permission to close off that section of the park. In fact, groups were never allowed to be close that section of the park. In other words, my instincts were correct, and my resistance was justified.

When I told the director that the caution tape was still up and that bright orange signs proclaiming the area to be off-limits had been added, he promised he would address the issue with the group.

Unfortunately, the whole situation was a result of miscommunication. The local parks and recreation office had booked the Boy Scouts for the wrong park, and, because of that, the Boy Scouts really did think they had permission to seize control of that area of the park.

But, despite that, I have to question where the common sense was in this whole situation. Why would anyone think that particular section of the park was appropriate for an event that the organizers believed required a great deal of security? And why hadn’t other people who had been chased off spoken up? (I’ve since heard from plenty of other people who were angry but didn’t question anyone.)

If I hadn’t asked the tough questions and pursued the matter, the people I saw enjoying the park last night wouldn’t have been enjoying it.

The situation is resolved, and I finally received an email from the Boy Scout executive with whom I had been trying to communicate. He didn’t apologize but neither was he rude, and since I was becoming increasingly rude with the group, he deserves credit for that. He did emphasise that safety of their scouts was a top priority.

I understand that. Over the years, I’ve had responsibility for thousands of young people. I just didn’t bully others to ensure their safety.

Which goes back to my question about why a group so concerned about the safety of young people would hold an event in such a well-used and public section of the park.

I, and many others, use that part of the park as a point of entry, and hundreds of others enjoy it every day.  It is also the only area that provides access to a public stream (although the stream wasn’t roped off by the Boy Scouts, and people could still use it if they walked around the park to get to it.)

The bottom line is, if security were such a concern at the park, the Boy Scouts should not have chosen that particular location for the event unless they had another purpose, such as training volunteers to be guard dogs. The only other obvious benefit was the visibility of their recruitment signs.

But, regardless, the whole situation is now behind all of us, and the boys who were participating in the event weren’t hurt or prevented from enjoying their activities. In fact, as I walked my dog by (not through) their new and much more appropriate spot in the park last night, I was stopped by one young camper. (Just for clarification, he was outside the roped off area.)

“Is that your dog?” he asked. “He’s really big.”

“He is,” I said. “He also gets really excited so you don’t want to get too close because he jumps.”

“O.K.” the boy said, and then he changed subjects. “Hey, do you know what I’m doing here?”

“No,” I responded. “What are you doing?”

“I’m at Twilight Camp. And the Webelos get to spend the night.”

“That’s awesome,” I replied as the woman with the boy looked at me skeptically, as though I were lying and really didn’t want the boy to have fun.

‘Yeah,” the boy said. “It is awesome.”

“Well, have fun and be safe,” I said.

“I will,” he responded, then he and the woman in the orange vest walked away. But I was fortunate to hear the rest of the conversation.

“Do you want to know who that was?” the boy asked.

“Yes, I do,” the woman in the orange vest responded.

“That,” he said with obvious pride, “Was my Sunday school teacher.”

And I couldn’t help but smile. In the same week I had been labeled a security risk, a young boy was proud that I was his Sunday School teacher.

And that made all the trouble of the week completely disappear. It also reminded me that I am a role model, and sometimes being a role model doesn’t mean succumbing to the pressure or demands of others. It also doesn’t mean I have to be perfect or always use the exact right words.

Sometimes it simply means following my heart and doing what I know is for the greater good, even when people get angry with me or question my methods.

In the end, the smile and respect of a child is simply worth it.

365 Reasons to Smile – Day 26

cows2My friends think I ride  my bike for exercise, which is partly true.

My family thinks I ride my bike to get away from them, which is also partly true.

But I also ride my bike to observe what I either don’t see or can’t enjoy when I’m rushing by in my car.

I love the calm of the deer who raise their heads in curiosity and watch me ride by them. I’m fascinated by the rabbits that stand completely still in hopes that they won’t be seen. And I am amused by the skunks that amble through the weeds in an almost charming manner.

But most of all, I adore my ongoing relationship with the sheep and cows that graze in fields along the country roads.sheep

They almost always respond to my greetings, which are usually delivered as I sing off-key at the top of my lungs.

And since they never seem to mind my lack of musical ability, they always make me smile.

Day 26:  Bike Riding on Country Roads

Day 25: When Harry Met Sally

Day 24: Hibiscus    Day 23:  The Ice Cream Truck

Day 22:  The Wonderful World of Disney 

Day 21: Puppy Love

Day 20 Personal Theme Songs     Day 19:  Summer Clouds

Day 18: Bartholomew Cubbin’s Victory

Day 17:  A Royal Birth        Day 16:  Creative Kids

Day 15: The Scent of Honeysuckle   Day 14: Clip of Kevin Kline Exploring His Masculinity

Day 13: Random Text Messages from My Daughter     Day 12:  Round Bales of Hay

Day 11:  Water Fountains for Dogs    Day 10: The Rainier Beer Motorcycle Commercial

Day 9: Four-Leaf Clovers  Day 8: Great Teachers We Still Remember

Day  7:  Finding the missing sock   Day 6:  Children’s books that teach life-long lessons

Day 5: The Perfect Photo at the Perfect Moment     Day 4:  Jumping in Puddles  

Day 3: The Ride Downhill after the Struggle Uphill    Day 2: Old Photographs

Day 1: The Martians on Sesame Street

Picking My Battles

As a write this, I’m a little angry.

Actually, I’m really angry.

And even though my neighbor is laughing at my outrage and my husband is telling me not to embarrass him, I feel the need to share my anger.

registrationEvery day, I take my dog for a walk through the park by my house. The PUBLIC (as in partly paid for by taxpayer dollars) park by my house. Sometimes, we even go there twice a day and enjoy a leisurely stroll.

Not tonight.

When I arrived at the park, there was caution tape haphazardly strewn up around a large section of the park. It had obviously been put there by amateurs, and I stepped over it.

I continued up a hill as a shrill voice called after me.

“Ma’am, you can’t walk here.”

I ignored the voice, partly because I just don’t like being called ma’am.

The voice got closer.

“Ma’am, you can’t walk here.”

I turned around.

“You have to leave, you aren’t allowed in this area. We are holding an event for Cub Scouts and you’re a security risk.”blocked playground

A security risk? Really? I gave her a look that said as much, but my words were “This is a public park. I walk here every day.”

“We rented it.” she said.

“I have a hard time believing that,” I said. “You can rent a shelter, but you can’t rent a section of the park.”

The woman, who wasn’t in the best of shape and had obviously exerted herself chasing after me, tried to puff out her chest and exude her importance in her orange day-glow vest, “We did. ” she said. “And you can’t be here.”

I didn’t want to get in a fight. I just wanted to walk up the hill, but I turned around muttering under my breath.

Apparently, I’m loud even when I mutter under my breath.

Three young people, who had also been chased off, smiled at me and pumped their fists. “Power to the people,” one of the young men said. We walked together along the outside the park fence, and when we approached the “open” section of the park, we said goodbye.

But I wasn’t done.

As I watched more “security guards” (i.e. parents in orange vests) walking the perimeter of the taped-off section of the park, three more young people, one of whom was carrying a basketball, walked down the hill from the PUBLIC basketball court.

“Were you chased out too?” I asked.

“Yes ma’am,” said one of the young men said, and I didn’t mind that he called me ma’am because he said it with respect.

“Don’t worry.” I said. “I’m going to complain on behalf of all of us.”

They nodded and walked off with their shoulders slumped while the Cub Scouts (all 15 or so of them) cheered behind them.

bbcourtI’m sure the Cub Scouts weren’t cheering because the teens had been chased off, but the sound made me even angrier.

I walked the perimeter taking pictures with my phone.

One of the parents in an orange vest, this time a man, asked if he could help me.

“I’m just taking pictures,” I said. Then I clarified, “but not of the few boys you are protecting. I’m not a security risk. I’m just taking pictures of how you aren’t letting me use a public park.”

There was no answer.

Maybe I AM blowing this out of proportion, and I DO understand the need to protect young children.

But I have issues with how this whole situation was handled.

Every day, there are dozens of children playing on the playground that was blocked off, and no one has ever before prevented me from walking my dog there. If the parents were that concerned about security, there are plenty of other more private and secure locations where they could have held their event. Even if the group had rented the park, and not just a shelter, they could have actually put up polite signs rather than tape that signaled anyone who crossed it was a criminal.

Most of all, there just weren’t enough boys attending the event to outweigh the members of the public who were prevented from using the PUBLIC facilities.

And all of that means I’m angry.  I am angry not only about the arrogance with which I was confronted but also about the self-righteousness with which I was told I was a security threat.

And because of that, this is one battle I am willing to pick.

Late comment: For those who think the park was well-marked and I should have walked away, here’s what it looked like from where I entered:   entrance

tents

The Starfish in the Greenhouse

My dad is a man of nature.

He has a degree in forestry, and even now, on the verge of  80-years-old, he still nurtures gardens full of flowers and vegetables.

starfishIf I had only one word to describe him, that word would be green.

He had a green thumb and, when I was still a child, he even built his own green house. That ensured that when conditions didn’t cooperate with his plans, he could still grow the plants he wanted.

Because he was a man of dirt and seeds, I’ll never be able to think of my dad as a person of sea and surf.

But my mother is.

She’s loves to sit on cliffs over the ocean and watch waves crash into the rocks.

To this day, the only times I remember seeing my mom not being productive were the moments she spent watching the ocean.

Maybe that’s why my dad made sure she had that opportunity at least once a year.

On one of those trips to the Oregon Coast during my childhood, I found a starfish on the beach.

My dad, who was walking with me along the shore when I picked up the starfish, seemed less than delighted that I wanted to keep the starfish. But he let me take it home anyway. He even suggested I put it in the greenhouse so it would dry out.

I took him up on his suggestion, but I grew to regret it.

The starfish may have dried out, but it also stunk up the greenhouse.

For years it stunk up that greenhouse. And every time I entered it, I was reminded of that stinking starfish.

But my dad never mentioned it.

I doubt I’ll ever know why he didn’t, but I’m pretty sure the answer has something to do with love.

Love isn’t about having people in our life who find peace in the same place we do.

Love is about having people in our life who show us how to find joy in places we wouldn’t otherwise look.

365 Reasons to Smile – Day 9

four-leaf-clover-pictureMy parents always had a shelf full of books that I don’t think anyone ever read. There were nature books and travel books and thick books of poetry that just didn’t have the worn look of  the novels and biographies that lined other shelves.

But even though no one read them, that didn’t mean they weren’t used.

On the occasions I would take them off the shelf and thumb through them, I would often find a four-leaf clover pressed in wax paper between the pages. And I knew my dad had put them there.

He, like so many people, considered four-leaf clovers to be lucky. So, each time he found one, he kept it.

And now, every time I find a four-leaf clover, I am reminded of how lucky I was to have him as my dad.

And that always makes me smile.

Day 9: Four-Leaf Clovers

Day 8:  Great teachers we still remember

Day  7:  Finding the missing sock

Day 6:  Children’s books that teach life-long lessons

Day 5: The Perfect Photo at the Perfect Moment

Day 4:  Jumping in Puddles

Day 3: The Ride Downhill after the Struggle Uphill

Day 2: Old Photographs

Day 1: The Martians on Sesame Street

365 Reasons to Smile – Day 8

Whenever someone uses the word “deduct,” I always think of Mr. Hoff. He once asked his class to use the following four words in a complete sentence:  defeat; defense; detail; and deduct.

None of his students were able to put together a logical sentence, and Mr. Hoff gave an impish grin and said “Defeat of deduct go over defense before detail.”

My classmates and I may have groaned, but I’ll never forget that sentence or those words.

Mr. Hoff was my fifth grade teacher, who I recently wrote about in my Charleston Daily Mail blog.  I was shocked when many of Mr. Hoff’s former students from Oregon started posting and commenting on the blog.

But I shouldn’t have surprised.

Mr. Hoff was an amazing teacher, and being reminded of a great teacher who made a difference always makes me smile.

Day 8:  Great teachers we still remember

Day  7:  Finding the missing sock

Day 6:  Children’s books that teach life-long lessons

Day 5: The Perfect Photo at the Perfect Moment

Day 4:  Jumping in Puddles

Day 3: The Ride Downhill after the Struggle Uphill

Day 2: Old Photographs

Day 1: The Martians on Sesame Street

365 Reasons to Smile – Day 7

I am completely neurotic about misplacing things. When I can’t find my keys, the television remote or a hair brush, I immediately want anyone who is nearby to stop everything and help me search.

Needless to say, my husband and children don’t generally feel the same sense of urgency. Instead, they usually just feel annoyed.socks

That’s probably because I’m not the most organized person, so they get annoyed quite a bit.

But over the years, I’ve finally learned to accept that my efforts to find a missing sock are usually pointless.

Which is why I’m also incredibly excited when I actually find one.

Whether it has been clinging to a clean towel or hiding under the bed with the dust bunnies, matching that sock with its mate always makes me smile.

Day  7:  Finding the missing sock

Day 6:  Children’s books that teach life-long lessons

Day 5: The Perfect Photo at the Perfect Moment

Day 4:  Jumping in Puddles

Day 3: The Ride Downhill after the Struggle Uphill

Day 2: Old Photographs

Day 1: The Martians on Sesame Street

365 Reasons to Smile – Day 6

leo the late bloomerOne of the benefits of being a parent is the excuse to read children’s books.

I adore children’s books.

I don’t just love the illustrations or the stories. I love everything about them: the way they feel in my hands, the rhythm of the words and most of all, the optimism they express.

I was picking out books before I was picking out clothes for my unborn son. And I treasured every moment helping both him and his sister discover the joy of books and reminding myself that’s how I discovered some of life’s most important lessons.

Leo the Late Bloomer was one my teachers.

I may not have shared Leo’s issues, but I certainly had my own timetable for learning to be comfortable in my own skin and accepting who I am.

But when I did, I blossomed.

Leo the Late Bloomer, like so many other children’s books, confirms that is absolutely nothing wrong with just being yourself.

And that always makes me smile.

Day 6:  Children’s books that teach life-long lessons

Day 5: The Perfect Photo at the Perfect Moment

Day 4:  Jumping in Puddles

Day 3: The Ride Downhill after the Struggle Uphill

Day 2: Old Photographs

Day 1: The Martians on Sesame Street

365 Reasons to Smile – Day 4

During my freshman year of college, an unexpected rainstorm hit the night before finals. puddles

While my fellow students and I crammed random bits of knowledge into our brains, the rain beat down.

When the rain passed, darkness had already arrived. But that didn’t stop us from taking a break from studying to enjoy what the storm had left in its wake: puddles.

Even in those days before cells phones and the internet, college students still managed to communicate with each other. That night, hundreds of us ran out of the dorms and the library to work off stress by jumping in puddles.

We splashed and screamed with the same joy we had when we were little children.

I like to believe that, even though we are all in our mid to late forties now, some of us still remember to do that from time to time.

Because jumping in puddles always makes me smile.

Day 4:  Jumping in Puddles

Day 3: The Ride Downhill after the Struggle Uphill

Day 2: Old Photographs

Day 1: The Martians on Sesame Street