Blog Archives

Would Anyone Miss Mrs.?

no mrs.My co-worker stood in the doorway of my office with a book in her hand.

“Can I complain for a minute?” she asked.

“Sure,” I answered. And I meant it.

One of the reasons I love my job is that I work in an environment of open doors and open ears.  Most of us have ever-growing “to do” lists, are trying to meet multiple demands from multiple people and are always aware that we may have to drop everything in order to meet the needs of the people we serve. Despite that, or maybe because of it, we always make time for each other.

And so it was when the immigration attorney in the office next to mine needed to air her grievances.

And when she did, I understood.

She was recently listed in a professional directory with a Miss in front of her name. “There’s nothing to indicate that I have a law degree or that I passed the bar exam,” she sighed. “Basically, the only thing people know from this publication is what my job title is and that I’m single.”

I glanced through the directory noting that all of the women were listed as either Miss or Mrs. Since I’m neither (I’m married but didn’t take my husband’s last name), I had to question why, in this day and age, the terms are even needed. I’ve been married 21 years, have two children and have never once felt that my life would be better if people called me Mrs.

As we discussed the issue, a male colleague chimed in.

“I understand the need to differentiate between male and female,” he said. “There are women that have my first name, and I want people to know I’m a guy.  But my wife and I have had this conversation on numerous occasions, and she thinks Ms. and Mr. are is all we need”

I’m with him (and his wife).

With all the advances women have made, I don’t understand why we often still address them based on marital status (or questionable marital status) while we address all men the same, regardless of marital status.

I know the distinction is probably a result of days when men were in charge and women (supposedly) embraced marriage as the ultimate achievement. But those days are over (except for extremists like the Duggar clan.) Women who want to take the traditional path of changing their last name when they marry can and should.

But women who are listed in a professional directory should have the assurance that people are much more interested in their qualifications than with their marital status.

Besides, I doubt anyone under the age of 50 (other than the Duggars) would even notice if the term Mrs. goes missing.

365 Reasons to Smile – Day 87

I’m not a fatalist. I don’t believe that whatever will be will be and that I have absolutely no control over my life.

At the same time, I certainly don’t believe I’m completely in control.

Take, for example, my first job out of college.

I’d spent all of my life saying that I liked almost any type of music but country. Then, the day after I graduated, I received a phone call from the news director at, you guessed it, a country music station. I hadn’t submitted my resume or applied for a job. An acquaintance had mentioned I was graduating and might be interested.The job wasn’t at all what I had planned for myself, but I took it.

That was at the same time Garth Brooks was storming onto the music scene. And yes, I admit, I become a closet country music fan.

I never would have asked that my career began in country music, but I can’t complain about where that job led. Or where it is still taking me. Nor can I say that I listen to much country music these days, but I definitely don’t turn it off when my daughter is listening. And I still love Garth Brooks.

His song Unanswered Prayers says it all:  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xohixl_garth-brooks-unanswered-prayers_music

It always makes me smile.

Day 87:  Unanswered Prayers  Day 86: Apples Fresh from the Orchard  Day 85: Being Human  Day 84: Captain Underpants  Day 83: The Diary of Anne Frank  Day 82: In Cold Blood Day 81: Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry  Day 80: The Outsiders   Day 79:  I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings Day 78: The First Amendment Day 77: People Who Touch Our Lives   Day 76:  The Rewards of Parenting    Day 75:  Improvements   Day 74:  Family Traditions   Day 73: Learning From Our Mistakes  Day 72: Live Music  Day 71:  Sleeping In  Day 70:  Grover  Day 69:  A Good Hair Day   Day 68:  A Sense of Community   Day 67: Kindness    Day 66: Living in a Place You Love   Day 65: Gifts from the Heart  Day 64: The Arrival of Fall  Day 63: To Kill a Mockingbird   Day 62: Green Lights Day 61:  My Canine Friends  Day 60:  Differences   Day 59:  A New Box of Crayons   Day 58: Bookworms  Day 57: Being Oblivious   Day 56: Three-day Weekends  Day 55:  A Cat Purring  Day 54: Being a Unique Individual   Day 53: Children’s Artwork  Day 52: Lefties  Day 51: The Neighborhood Deer   Day 50: Campfires  Day 49: Childhood Crushes  Day  48: The Words “Miss You”  Day 47:  Birthday Stories   Day 46: Nature’s Hold on Us  Day 45:  Play-Doh   Day 44: First Day of School Pictures  Day 43: Calvin and Hobbes  Day 42: Appreciative Readers  Day 41: Marilyn Monroe’s Best Quote   Day 40:  Being Silly  Day 39:  Being Happy Exactly Where You Are  Day 38: Proud Grandparents  Day 37: Chocolate Chip Cookies   Day 36: Challenging Experiences that Make Great Stories  Day 35: You Can’t Always Get What You Want  Day 34:  Accepting the Fog    Day 33: I See the Moon  Day 32: The Stonehenge Scene from This is Spinal Tap  Day 31: Perspective  Day 30:  Unlikely Friendships  Day 29: Good Samaritans  Day 28:  Am I a Man or Am I a Muppet?    Day 27: Shadows  Day 26: Bike Riding on Country Roads  Day 25: When Harry Met Sally  Day 24: Hibiscus   Day 23: The Ice Cream Truck  Day 22:  The Wonderful World of Disney   Day 21: Puppy love  Day 20 Personal Theme Songs     Day 19:  Summer Clouds  Day 18: Bartholomew Cubbin’s Victory Day 17:  A Royal Birth    Day 16:  Creative Kids Day 15: The Scent of Honeysuckle   Day 14: Clip of Kevin Kline Exploring His Masculinity Day 13: Random Text Messages from My Daughter     Day 12:  Round Bales of Hay Day 11:  Water Fountains for Dogs    Day 10: The Rainier Beer Motorcycle Commercial Day 9: Four-Leaf Clovers  Day 8: Great Teachers We Still Remember Day  7:  Finding the missing sock   Day 6:  Children’s books that teach life-long lessons Day 5: The Perfect Photo at the Perfect Moment     Day 4:  Jumping in Puddles   Day 3: The Ride Downhill after the Struggle Uphill    Day 2: Old Photographs Day 1: The Martians on Sesame Street