Thank you for speaking up on behalf of this child. You embody social work, and social justice, in your life. And you act upon it.

When folks act hurtfully, ignorantly, and what appears to be even in a calculated or malevolent manner… I keep coming back to what a friend who is a psychologist once said to me as we observed some over-the-top narcissistic behavior at a coffee shop.

“Hurt people, hurt people.”

I agree. And this does NOT give the person carte blanche to treat folks in this manner. But that is a blog unto itself, I suspect.

I am also always, frankly shocked, when things like that emerge from someone’s mouth. There are people that I truly do not like. Some have ‘earned’ it, through behavior, etc. and then there are the folks that simply have not done anything to warrant my feelings toward them. They just annoy me.

In both cases, professional and personal- I strive treat them with respect and am very measured in my responses, interactions, and in the case of the former… I also limit my interaction with them as much as possible. But I am an adult who has worked with adults and children in crisis, survival behavior, and the ‘larger sandbox’ for over twenty years.

I also grew up in dysfunction. Watching someone in my life treating me, and others, in cruel and contemptious ways. Seeing how those actions had a resounding impact. Sadly, many people seem to think that behavior is authentic and standing up…

Let’s call it what it is. It is aggression. It is abuse of power and control. And to bully and publicly humiliate this young lady? Unacceptable. The only way to deal with this is to be an active responder, not a passive bystander. (And you and your daughter were active… She told you, you acted… Sometimes being an active bystander does require reponse after the fact for safety and other reasons).

This is how we end bullying, interpersonal violence and the other abusive things we do to each other.

By not being silent. How different many children’s lives could be, could have been… If someone intervened.

Mine included.