I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the other day, and the hosts were bubbling with excitement about having just received their 2022 year in review from Spotify. Since I had just received (and of course shared) my year in review from the language app Duolingo, I realized that these reviews are just another marketing tool to suck us in so we share our results while providing free advertising.

Because they are intended to make us feel good about ourselves, these fluffy, feel good, reports don’t capture a realistic snapshot of what really happened over the course of the past year.

I’m always up for a challenge, so I decided I’d try to create my own (realistic) year in review.

Here’s my best shot with the disclaimer the following may or may not be based on valid data:

Hours I spent listening to true crime podcasts: 836

Hours I spent cleaning my house: 12

Phrase I said the most: “The day I don’t make a mistake is the day I’m dead.”

Phrases I never said, “I’d like to live in Florida.” and “I think Texas would be a good place to live.”

The number of times I went to Google to make a diagnosis based on my symptoms: 18

The number of times I went to a doctor to get a diagnosis based on my symptoms: 0

Pounds I lost trying to get healthier: 8

Pounds I gained from stress eating: 10

The number of times in conversation I said, “I have a story about that:” 422

The number of times in conversation someone said “Trina always has a story:” 421

Minutes I spent doom scrolling the internet: 3,523

Minutes I spent reading serious literature: 0

The number of times I’ve stopped my car in the middle of the street and gotten out just to pet a neighbor’s dog: 43

The number of times I’ve stopped my care in the middle of the street and gotten out to help a neighbor: 0

Tears I shed from dealing with a narcissistic bitch who was gaslighting me: 2,530

Tears I shed from laughing so hard I cried: 3,403

The number of times I’ve said “I feel like I’m a bad mother:” 46

Number of children I have: 2

Number of children who are college graduates: 2

Number of children who have been arrested or gone to jail: 0

Number of children who are gainfully employed: 2

The number of times I’ve fallen down while walking the dog, or going down the stairs, or carrying something heavy: 19

The number of black eyes I had: 1

The number of bruises I had: 1,748

The percentage of words that I uttered that many people would consider inappropriate or swear words: 18%

The percentage of times I regretted not telling someone I loved them: 0.

(If I love you, you will know it – especially if you are a dog.)

This year I’ve learned that sometimes justice isn’t possible, and you just have to walk away from a bad situation even if it means also walking away from unachieved goals and people you care about. I’ve learned that if you are a genuine person who cares about the underdog, you will attract genuine people who care about the underdog. And, most importantly, I continue to learn not to take myself to seriously. I’m the only person who has to spend 100% of their time with me. I might as well enjoy that time.

So here is to 2022 and an even better 2023. Here’s to the people who listened to me cry and rant and to the people who I never want to see again but who have taught me important life lessons. And here is to you. I hope you are your own best friend and that you take care of yourself regardless of what others think. It’s a challenge we can all continue to pursue.