It’s Not an Afternoon, or a Morning or Any Other Delight

I’ve never considered myself a snob.  Not an “I want to feel more important than someone else” snob, or a food snob or a music snob.

Especially not a music snob.  How could I  be when you can find me listening to just about anything on my Ipod? And when I say anything, I really do mean anything.  The music  on my beloved Ipod ranges from musical theater to punk and just about everything in between.

But even I, the person who knows all the lyrics to every song in  the musical “Oklahoma,” have my limits.

And they were reached this week at the local Sheetz station.

I admit that I generally enjoy the music playing over the speakers while I pump gas.  It tends to be fairly retro, so I can happily sing along to the Eagles or Lynard Skynard or  Bob Segar while ignoring the dollar amounts flying by on the gas pump.

I used to think it was a great marketing strategy dreamed up by someone half my age: “Play old-time music, and those middle-aged people with their gas-guzzling SUV’s will be so distracted they won’t care about the cost of gas. They might even buy a made-to-order food item because they aren’t paying attention to the cost.”

I was wrong.  Either that, or someone who developed the playlist for Sheetz had absolutely no clue what they were doing.

Because  this time, as I swiped my debit card, I heard the strains of a song that took me back – but not in a good way.  Instead, it was more like a fingernails scraping on a blackboard way.  (For those of you who don’t know what a blackboard is – it’s the prehistoric version of a smart board.)

At first, I couldn’t believe I was actually hearing it.  “Gonna f ind my baby gonna hold her tight. Gonna grab some afternoon delight. My motto has always been when it’s right it right. Why wait until the middle of the cold dark night.”

Really? It was only 7:30 in the morning and I was taking my 13-year old son to school.

Instead of putting me in a good mood, the song was irritating me. Really irritating me. Because, even though I don’t like the song, I know the words. So when I went inside to buy a coffee, I actually found myself singing along.

Singing along to one of the most obnoxious songs in history.

I tried voicing my complaint about the music selection to the clerk, but she gave me a completely blank stare, ignored my complaint and asked if I needed anything else. When I told her that what I really  needed was for her to change the music, I got another blank stare.

So I reverted to my only other option.

I posted my complaint about the music on Facebook.

By the time I got to the office, there were several comments about my Facebook post, including one trying to convince me the song was actually about the menu at a restaurant and not about an afternoon tryst. But others were eager to set that person straight.  And while I appreciated the support, none of the comments were helping get the song out of my head. It was just there.. repeating over and over again.

And since I was suffering, I felt the need to make others suffer. So, I brought the song up on an office computer and made my co-worker listen to it.

Not only was she not happy, but my boss, who had been in  an executive committee meeting, took that exact moment to leave the meeting and come into our office. He sauntered over to the computer and asked what I was doing.

What could I say? There, in all its glory  was the Starland Vocal Band, singing about  rubbing  sticks and stones together and making sparks ignite. If the lyrics weren’t bad enough, the band members’ horrible hair and the bell-bottoms were.

My boss glanced at my computer and said, “Hey, I remember that kind of music,” then walked away.

I decided Facebook was safer. I clicked off the video and back onto Facebook. I decided to “like” the comment from the person who said she thought she saw a blog coming on.

And, to her credit, there was.

About Trina Bartlett

I live in the Eastern Panhandle of WV, with one dog, two cats, a theater kid in high school, a band kid at West Virginia University and a husband who works strange hours. When I'm not working as a director at a nonprofit social service organization or being a mom, I can generally be found riding my bike, walking my dog and stirring things up.

Posted on September 30, 2011, in My life, Uncategorized, Work and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Hey there girlfriend……THANKS now I can’t get that song out of MY head!

  2. I actually like that song, but not in the morning; It is better heard on a starry night. However, that would be an evening delight, and then it would mess up the meter of the song.

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